We can distinguish in humans, a biological sexuality means to reproduce, a more “human” pleasure-oriented sexuality, and a third type, involving together with its instinctual dimension (emotional and sexual), a subtle dimension related to the extrasensory, which is actually the epitome of love.
Amorous magic sung by poets is characteristic of this higher form of love life; Novalis spoke of elective affinities, to designate the kind of harmony that transcends feelings. Sexology is primarily concerned with biological functioning, modeled on animal copulation. Pornography, in turn, feeds on longing for pleasure combined with a reactional formation against the guiltiness reflexes related to “lust”, but failed to evacuate a certain distaste for loveless sex.
What is the position of evolutionary ecopsychology? The discovery of the role of Eros in the development of psychic abilities, and permanent access to the transcendent dimension, leads to a unitary vision of the biological, hedonistic and the transcendent experience of love and sex. The gap between these aspects is actually the consequence of a millenia-old drift in question whose content shall be pinpointed accurately.
Here are some guidelines of the natural laws of sexual fulfillment as they have been taken from observations on the relationship between love and extrasensory development:
Pleasure should not be pursued for itself, but welcomed as a sort of guide indicating the relevant behaviour. Under caution to avoid any cause of parasitic excitation of the nervous system (stimulants, drugs, aphrodisiac, toys etc.), it shows the nature path that must be followed to allow the various impulses to reach their transcendent goal.
Impulses specifically related to procreation (possession-copulation-ejaculation) occupy a secondary place compared to other sexual activities. It takes only a small number of coït to ensure the species’ reproduction.
The largest share of erotic impulses (“polymorphic” impulses in the Freudian words)’ purpose is neither fertilization nor organic pleasure. Beyond the desire of possession and longing for pleasure, they are by nature associated with a feeling of “magic”, evanescent but essential pledge of a genuine exchange of transcendent power. Orgasm should be experienced as an opening to the sacred, free of all thought, desire or calculation.
It remains very difficult to talk about this kind of relationship, words and thoughts are likely to crush the subtlety in the bud. Its fragility explains the origin of esotericisms (teaching reserved for “elect”) and the mysteries maintained around “initiations” (Mysteries of Eleusis, Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch, etc.), and the apparent superiority of a reductionist culture capable of invading the public field unopposed.
Experience shows that any interference of the Ego is incompatible with this third type of relationship, making it somehow dropped from plane of magic to that of animal copulation. This is in itself not very far from rape. Indeed, the one who feels his partner drag on a biological or computer level, devoid of amorous magic, automatically experiences rejection impulses, he let them speak or not, so that the continuation of the relationship is equal to a concrete or virtual constraint.
We find a crystallization of these negative emotions in the offensive language, almost always of sexual inspiration (fuck you, son of bitch, asshole, etc.) or in the ribald humour characteristic of our Western culture. They also pass through teenage vocabulary: we notice in these derogatory words , “fuck” a huge contempt for a sexuality felt as degraded, even so it is at the centre of this age’s concerns.
The amorous magic feeling is often present at the beginning of a relationship, especially in the state which is called “love at first sight”. What incomparably more difficult, is to preserve this as the relationships continues.
All that is likely to destroy magic, such as the quest for pleasure (for oneself or another), feelings of guilt, cumbersome gestures, useless words, repeatativity, orgasmic hastiness, etc. should be avoided or silenced before taking up too much space in consciousness or behaviour. Embarrassment shame should be replaced with a kind of modestly and respect for for the sacred. Attachment is to be changed for oblative love. We should think “I love you, you love me”, but “the love that passes between us connects us to the transcendent.” Or better: not feed any thought.
We must also learn to overcome possessiveness, jealousy, and the binary couple we recorded the image and template in early childhood in the conventional family. These elements are derived directly from the Ego and must make way for a opening of heart, to avoid confinement in a repetitive relationship. This must certainly be an innate impulse, as the inevitability of adulterous impulses despite everything that has been done to eradicate them seems to prove.
The cyclic emergence of libertinism, Fourierism, polyamory and other movements punctuating history argues in the same direction. Things become clearer if we understand that love is not a matter of alpha pair or macho domination, but an exchange of energy ensuring the individual’s spiritual evolution.
It is not easy to get out of conventional behavioural patterns and uncover the “original innocence”. A great deal of inner work is necessary to deconstruct stigma of all the cultural, moral precepts, guilt feelings, sexology speech, pornography, school sex education, “disconnected” sexual experiences, stigma, justifications, rationalizations, religious beliefs and other engrams likely to parasitize consciousness.
But this is the price for which love and sexual impulses – Eros in the ancient sense of the word – can reach its transcendent purpose. Eros was a god …
The subject, as vast as fundamental, is detailed in various chapters of the training course.